Monday, May 23, 2011
I cant believe its time!!
Tomorrow night at this time we’ll be in labor and anxiously awaiting our little bundle! The plan is to go in early evening to start my induction.
The little girls and I put together a cookie basket today for them to deliver to the hospital staff or give to visitors when they come to meet Gigi. Cute little bottles, monogrammed with Gabriella’s initials, and sweet baby onesies. We of course had to sample one:)
I had a full blown melt-down this morning. I mean, the real deal.
I came unglued.
Inconsolable tears. Contemplating canceling the induction all together. Poor C!
This isnt the circumstances under which I want to be birthing. I want to be in control. I want to call the shots. All my babies have been natural births and quite frankly, an induction terrifies me.
C had to talk me down, reminding me that truly, none of my births have been “in control” as I would like to fondly remember them. Twins were high risk. Britain and Izzy were born in third world hospitals with sub-par care. Izzy could have died from placental abruption. And then there’s Evie. We had no idea for days how graciously God had His hand of protection on her life.
Its a control issue really.
While we are at peace that He has led us to an induction, its just the details of it that overwhelm me. The choices that are taken away when Im not in control. Why would He not also prepare the way before us if He has led in this path? He will not abandon us!
Holding onto that!
“Whether you turn to the right or to the left,
your ears will hear a voice behind you saying,
“This is the way, walk in it”
I have to share this sweet thing with you all!…. I have really wanted one of those newborn cots that you put in bed with you. It protects baby from parents rolling onto them, but keeps them within reach for night time nursing. Just knowing that she’ll be tiny because she’s early, I know Ill be a little worried. Ill want my hand on her back making sure she’s breathing through the night. I’ve priced these cots online and even found one at Target. As recently as Sunday, I was contemplating stoping by Target and buying one, but it seemed a bit of a frivolous and unnecessary expense. I resigned to not having one.
Fast forward to today…
I had just finished my little pity-party and was throwing away my mascara stained kleenexes when a voicemail came through on my phone from one of my clients whose baby I helped deliver about 6 months ago. I started crying all over again when I played her message. She was calling to let me know she had a cot for a bed that her baby had outgrown and she wondered if I could use it.
…God knew exactly what my hearts desire was. He gives His children good gifts and meets every need above and beyond….exceeding abundantly!!
Thank you Lord!!
C sent Izzy and I out for manicures and pedicures this afternoon. Exactly what I needed! Came back refreshed and refocused!
The kids are SO excited. Evie and Izzy went with me to my last OB appt this week. Our doctor is wonderful! He always lets them squirt the gel on my belly and take turns with the ten-thousand dollar ultrasound machine…..(gulp)…..taking a peek at Gigi.
We’ve been so blessed by the prayers of many. What an answer that we have made it to 37.5 weeks with this sweet girl whom we were told would have to be delivered very early. Such a praise! We’d covet your prayer for the following:
~Ive been fighting a respritory and sinus infection for a week. Not exactly conducive to deep, meditative breathing during labor when Im hacking. Pray for cleared lungs quickly!
~Adaptability for the kids. They’ll have a couple nights split between aunts and uncles and grandparents. Pray that they will feel secure in spite of their routine being off.
~Pray that there will be enough progression tomorrow when I check in that they will be able to just break my water to start labor and that Pitocin wont be necessary.
Cant wait to share our little girl with you. C uploaded an iPhone app that allows him to chart my labor progression and post it on FB…..which I’ve forbidden him to use:)!! Will give you the story when we’re in our “happily ever after” state!