Time to Say Goodbye!

Thursday, May 13, 2010
When a precious newborn baby comes home from the hospital, there should be,
Visits from adoring friends and family
Meals brought in by neighbors
Special deliveries from the UPS man
A home health care consultant bringing in a sleep apnea monitor, oxygen compressor and tanks, portable and permanent pulse ox monitors, alarms, bells and whistles.
I remember vividly the instillation of all her equipment and the growing sense that my baby was sustained by all these devices that overwhelmed me. It has gotten easier so gradually, that Ive hardly even noticed.
I talked to Evies pediatrician this week about discharge orders for her “stuff”. Today, I watched as the long term in-home care provider packed his truck with the aforementioned and carted them out of our lives.
(…..hopefully, forever!)
It feels like a new chapter.
We’ve turned a page!
This is momentous for Evie. She has outgrown what was for a time, necessary to sustain her.
And its momentous for me. When you spend so many sleepless nights watching the lines on a monitor dance up and down in irregular arhythmic heart patterns…..when you are awoken by alarms that your baby hasn’t taken a breath for 15 seconds……when you have to hook your blue baby up to oxygen……you cant fathom ever having a peace about not having the devices around. For some time, she hasnt needed them,
……but the’ve been my safety net…..just in case.
To feel nothing but elation at having them gone, is a huge step for both of us!
We still have the pulse ox so we can keep an eye on her (especially with this current pneumonia) but we were delighted to pack up the cannula and face tape and yards of tubing and unsightly tanks of oxygen that have consumed a corner in our bedroom and the better half of our garage for the past 2 years.
You’ve come so far my Evie girl. My heart is bursting!

I came inside to see her waving out the front door…..(triumphantly I might add)
So long O2!
We’re so over you!

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