Saturday, June 4, 2011
Something in my couldn’t wait to get to day 10 of Gigi’s little life!
Part of me has been holding my breath waiting…afraid to believe all is indeed well…
With our last baby girl, day #10 shattered our world. After a week and a half of snuggling, loving and bonding with what we thought was a happy, healthy newborn, we took her to the hospital in respiratory distress. That night ended with a devastating diagnosis of a heart defect and an airlift of our baby to another city.
Gigi is 10 days old today. Incredible for me to believe Evie survived that long with such a severely broken heart and that we were clueless. I have loved every living, breathing, sacred second with our brand new precious girl. But a hint of anxiety has threatened me every now and then with the reminders of how fragile and fleeting our earthly security is.
Im glad to see the sun set on this day with a perfectly pink bundle curled over my shoulder. Her warm baby breath on my neck. Her finger clasping mine. Her eyes laden with sleep.
Im relishing all that is different in a “healthy” newborn. The things I havent even thought about being heartbreaking with Evie, Im now remembering vividly as we can handle Gigi so differently….
Im thankful that….
~We can allow her to cry every now and then, not fearing the strain on her heart.
~There is no “plugging” her with ugly green hospital pacifiers because she’s so hooked up to life supporting devices that you cant even hold her to comfort her when she cries.
~I can dress her in cute footie outfits….no pulse ox probe continually stuck on her toe
~Its safe to hold her upright over my shoulder without fear of re-injuring an incision on her chest.
~I can bond and breastfeed; no pumping in a lonely, dark hospital room and bottling, freezing and feeding to your baby through an NG tube.
~We can take our baby to bed with us every night. No crying into my pillow because my baby is in a an ICUnit on the other side of town.
This baby is SO easy……..comparatively!
She’s not without her own little hiccups…
She’s not gaining weight. You can pray for the little peanut. At her 1 week check-up, she’d lost nearly a pound. She weighs 5.13. That’s like a little bag of sugar folks. She’s a itty-bitty. We are going in every other day to check weight and she had gained 1 oz in two days when I took her back yesterday. Not great. But at least she’s not still loosing! Probably part of just being a preemie. It may take her a bit longer to take off with the eating and growing thing. Mommy is concerned, but hey….this I can handle! There are far worse things!
Knowing and believing that every day is a gift from the Lord!
So thankful that she is on loan to us!