I Aint Missin’ You At All

Thursday, November 14, 2013
The post in which I gloat.
No harm meant.
I would refrain from writing such a post if I thought anyone shared my sentiment.
But….since Im quite convinced that everyone is relishing the change of seasons and that the only one who feels this way is my own quirky self, I’ll proceed..

 

Reading everyones nostalgic fall facebook statuses about their kids frolicking in the leaves and Starbucks bringing back their holiday blends has a reverse affect on me.
Hearing that there were snow flurries in my hometown yesterday, makes me sing for joy that Im a million miles away.  
In the words of John Waite, “I aint missin you at all”!
You see…..Im a summer gal.
This girl needs sunshine to bloom
Im totally going to be that old woman someday.  Leathery brown skin walking barefoot on the beach every morning with a big straw hat.  Do I have to be 70 before I become a “snowbird”.

God absolutely knew what he was doing sending me to the land of perpetual sunshine and 100% humidity year round.  I believe with all my heart that He had things for me to learn during our 5 years on the outskirts of Siberia 🙂 but I thank Him every day here for a climate that I dont feel like Im freezing into a stone sculpture every time I set foot outside.  It is brutally hot – but Ill take that any day!

There are several indicators that Im not compatible with life itself once it drops below 70 degrees….

 

A case against the cold…

 

1)  These boots aren’t made for walkin’....
You know that perfect pair of boots that you cant wait to break out of the closet the first of September? Let me tell you, nothing looks as cute in a shoe size 11 as it does on the narrow-footed size 7 mannequin in the shoe store window!  Seriously, you could float a small child in some of my shoes.  Thus, Im much more comfortable in flip flops and cute sandals.  A lot less shoe means a lot less attention to my ginormous feet.  Give me some hot pink polish and my feet almost look cute.  When it came time to pack to move here, there were no tears shed over my swanky knee-high, 3 inch heel, fur trimmed Victoria Secret boots that I gave to my sister.
…..and I promptly bought all the flip flops on the sale rack at the end of the season last fall!

 

2) Winter clothes are hazardous and uncomfortable!
Uuugh….confining. itchy. all wrong for me!  Ive never quite been able to pull off this look.
As someone who has a propensity to claustrophobia, I find that scarves resemble a very cute boa constrictor.  With a child always in arm getting tangled in unnecessary fluff around my neck, it feels like Ive adorned myself with a noose for the day.  
Sweaters.  Jackets.  Hoodies. Wool tights.  
Less is more when it comes to my attire.  
Maxi dresses, leggings with tunics, tank tops and skirts are my happy place! 

3) Christmas comes in a cup regardless of the climate!
For those of you who have been crossing off days on your calendar until Christmas season came to Starbucks, let me just say “nanny-nanny-boo-boo”….  Our local Starbucks started carrying all the seasonal beverages three days before they were released in the US.  Im a fan too, dont get me wrong. But I would argue that a peppermint hot-chocolate tastes just as good (if not better) when Im wearing my sundress and flip flops on this balmy 87degree afternoon in Bangkok.  From everyones Facebook statuses, it sounds like South Carolina has turned into the frozen tundra.  You have my pity!

4)You can’t seriously like the landscape!
This one I dont get.  Why anyone would prefer a grey, drab, dead landscape more than lush, sun-soaked, summer green is beyond me.  I think palmtrees are going to look great at Christmastime here this year.

5) Packing for cold is inefficient!
Its no secret that our family is always on the move.  We are self proclaimed Gypsies.  Never settling for too long.  Our nomadic life means Ive done a lot of packing and unpacking in 12 years of marriage to this man.  Let me tell you, you can fit an entire childs wardrobe into the same space it would take to pack a down jacket and pair of ski bibs.  
Winter clothes in my humble opinion are a waste. of. space!

6) Potty breaks are next to impossible!
I regress again…..when we lived in Ukraine, it literally took 20 minutes just to put enough layers on my 2 year old twins to take them for a brief walk outside.  Our daily outing consisted of layering the following….
Underwear, tights, wool socks, long underwear bottoms and top, long-sleeved-Tshirt, jeans, wool sweater, scarf, snow bibs, heavy coat, hat….and then trying to get 20 wiggly toddler fingers into gloves.  At which point, one of them inevitably would announce that they needed to go potty!  
Summer wardrobe = shirt, shorts, flip flops. DONE!

 
You all enjoy your afghans and crockpot dinners and blazing fires!

Hard to believe last year at this time, I was enjoying a leisurely weekend with the girls in my favorite southern city – Charleston.  


We froze our tushies off traipsing around historic cobblestone streets and ducking in and out of coffee shops to thaw.  We had the best time.  Cant believe its been a year!  But it was coooold!  Im offering to host here this year! 
While I desperately miss my mom and sisters, I can say with stalwart resolve to winter
.I aint missin you at all!

 



  • You need to move to Phoenix! It’s 90 degrees today, dry heat, and we live in our flip flops all year round!! 🙂 Green lush grass, lots of mountains, sunshine!!

  • Sarah Durham says:

    I’m turning into an ogre!!! Can’t you see I’m GREEN with envy… and I don’t just mean a pretty mint! I’m talkin’ deep forest green here!! My heart is right there with ya!

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