Bangkok Decoded

Saturday, January 18, 2014
Today marks a year since we embarked on this crazy adventure and moved our brood to Bangkok Thailand.  
Atlanta airport en route to Bangkok 2013
We’ve grown to love our new home and the precious people here.  Here are the highlights and lowlights of surviving our first year..

20 Things we’ve learned:

1) Asians take pictures of everything – especially cute white American children

2) Every skin care product in this country has whitening components.  And it’s not a compliment if someone tells you you are tan.

3) They say what they mean.  Never has it been more blatant than when I sat down for a foot massage one day.   “Ooooh,” gushed the lady attending me “Such a pretty face” (the eyebrow raised…”.but not pretty feet!
4) And hour long foot massage in Bangkok cost the equivalent of a value meal at McDonalds in the states.
5) Pack your sundresses and flip flops when coming to Bangkok.  And bring a heavy down jacket as well for shopping malls and restaurants.  These folks love their air conditioning!

6) Do not sit by a Buddhist monk on Bangkok Transport System – this will result in an embarrassing exchange where you will be asked to switch seats.

7) When you are six-foot-two-inches and are shopping in India and Asia among petite people, “One size” does not in fact “fit all
dress for them = shirt for me
8) You will not see a Thai couple go out for dinner, coffee or dessert without snapping at least a dozen Instagram photos of their lattes.

9) These lovely mild-mannered, gracious people always smile.  Even when the taxi driver is telling you “meter broke” and charging you 400 baht for a 30 baht ride.

10) Motorbike taxis are the surest way to breeze through traffic when in a hurry.  It’s a thrilling ride, but it might be your last! Close your eyes and hold on for dear life.

11) Southeast Asian mosquitos are not tiny pests that bite.  Oh no!  They are flesh eating carnivores!

12) Western hospitals are not only where we go for medical emergencies.  It’s a great spot to grab a Starbucks, listen to live piano music and enjoy free wifi!

balloon artist at the hospital
13) Street odors can be foul, overwhelming and nauseating.  Carry a dryer lint sheet to hold to your nose when walking through wet market to ward off the dry heave! (tip from my awesome SIL Michelle!)

14) You need to develop some serious ninja moves before walking the streets and trying to dodge sun-umbrellas, low hanging electrical wires, pot holes, construction debris, vats of hot oil right at eye level, and the Thai grandma who wants to pinch your toddlers cheeks.

15) Mapquest will say you live 12 minutes from your designated location. Figure in Bangkok traffic and 180 second traffic lights, and you will arrive by next Wednesday.

16) Non absorbent tissue paper is substituted for paper napkins and kleenex for toilet paper.

17) Mall toilets are space age contraptions that may result in flooding the bathroom and getting “poo water” sprayed on you when your 5 year old decides to experiment with buttons.

18) When dining out, keep in mind that food never comes out together…or in any particular order.  So, when you choose an appetizer, entree and dessert from a set menu, don’t be surprised when your brownie ala modè comes out first.

19) NYC ain’t got nothin’ on Bangkok when it comes to shopping.  There are often 3 massive malls at any major intersection.  Shop till you drop…that is, if you have the means for Prada and Dolce Gabbana

20) There really is no limit to the number of people who can cram on one motorbike!

  • Rachel C says:

    Wow I can’t believe it’s been a year! I feel like I’ve learned a lot through your experiences – always interesting 🙂

  • Man I missed so much by not stopping by more frequently. You moved to Thailand! What an amazing adventure! We just had an amazing adventure in China! We added a little girl to our family through adoption. She is amazing! Now I have to keep stopping by to see what else is happening in your lives.

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