Confessions of a Dumpster Diver

Wednesday, October 31, 2012
My mother could have invented “Pinterest”.
Long before it was fashionable to reconstruct palettes into coffee tables and use old luggage as vintage decor or utilize rusty step ladders as shelving units, my mother was that woman.
The one with the eye for potential.
I remember driving around the ritzy neighborhoods on “trash day” and her “rescuing” random objects that she would somehow breathe new life into and transform.  All the while, we kids would cower in the backseat of our chocolate brown station waggon hoping no one we knew drove by and saw us rummaging through the discarded contents on the curb.
You know the saying…”one man’s trash, another mans treasure.”

I come from a long line of these kinds of ladies.  My sister is one of those who can go into Goodwill and in 90 seconds flat, pull out an exquisite retro dress from the grungy piles.  She’s the one who can uncover stunning jewelry for a dollar in change.  Always an eye for a treasure amidst the rubble.

I really cant help myself.  Its in my genes.
Which will all be part of my alibi when Im caught and arrested for trespassing on private property.  Im fairly certain my new hobby just might be illegal.

I wasnt rebellious in highschool.  The wildest thing Ive ever done is skydiving….or maybe piercing my ears (by myself) when I was in college.  Im typically a rule-follower.  Im not a thrill seeker.  But the temptation for a “cheap thrill” gets me every time.  And this time, I hit the jackpot.

There are lots of lovely names for it…
….we have another name for it at our house…

I confess.  Last week was not the first time Ive done it.  But it was the most rewarding.
There is a local Tuesday Morning shop with a large dumpster in the parking lot.  C gave me the night off last week to meet some ladies for a painting class and I took the opportunity to swing through the vacant parking lot and poke around….just for a second.

Twenty minutes later, I emerged with an entire trunk full of treasures!!
“My husband’s gonna kill me” I told my friends.
Here we are trying to pack to leave the country and Im bringing home the contents of a local dumpster.

But tell me….would YOU turn this junk down?
I racked up:

1) a new vacuum cleaner (still in the box)
2) a set of cream colored queen sheets and shams (still in package)
3) two white cotton bath towels (tags still attached)
4) a coffee grinder (in original packaging)
5) a huge $200 red deck/patio umbrella
6) a Phillips iPod docking station/speaker (still in box and $149 price tag still attached)

Sure, it was a disappointment when my “new” vacuum cleaner didnt work, but we have been rocking out to music all week with our new docking station.
What a steal!!
I have a new place I’ll be doing my “Christmas shopping” this year.  Cant beat the prices:)
Surely that big “No Trespassing” sign on the outside of the dumpster doesnt apply to me, right?  
I definitely didnt get any ‘citizenship award’ that night.  In addition to breaking the law on private property, I also returned home from my painting class late that night…..still wearing the apron the teacher provided to all the students.
Chalk “theft” up there with my other misdemeanors.
So….who wants to go dumpster diving with me?

  • Alicia says:

    Oh the trouble we could get into if we lived in the same town!

  • Anonymous says:

    The police are on their way….. take cover!

  • Danielle says:

    I can hear it already…when Izzy (or was it Brittain?) wakes up and says, “mommy, remember when you got arrested yesterday?”…only this time, it’s true!
    BTW…how could Chad possibly be mad at you for bringing home a vacuum…it’s practically his love language…even if it doesn’t work!

  • Ha! You’re so funny! We used to dumpster dive in high school all the time! Oh, how I miss it! We should go before you leave the country! 🙂

    I hope the painting class was fun. I’m going in a couple of weeks and I can’t wait!! Pics look awesome!

  • Lara says:

    I haven’t dumpster dove(dived?) yet, but I do pick stuff up off the side of the road! Just this week, I got a microfiber chair that had a broken back (fixed for less than $2) and a decorative pumpkin (will spray paint with “looking glass” paint). We (well, I) love getting furniture for nothing! (Looking for a double dresser!!!)

  • You know I am up for a dive with you! And remember how you said that I could have that spot when you left the country 🙂 (You will have to fill me in on the details…I promise to do you proud!)

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